connect shan

Unexpected bursts of anger often stem from long-held grievances. When we speak during moments of feeling wronged, 90% of what we say is true. However, at least 10% of the facts are usually left out. Typically, when we can’t express the hurt caused by someone, we seek understanding from a third party (a colleague, friend, or family member) and share the experiences of this grievance, sometimes even including past similar instances. The goal is to vindicate ourselves and seek fairness.

When we share our grievances with others, it’s challenging to present the facts in a calm and rational manner when emotions are running high. If the person you choose to confide in cannot empathize with you, you might continue debating right and wrong until you feel understood. At this point, emotions and biases often dominate, sometimes even distorting the truth.

In such situations, maintaining calm and objectivity is indeed difficult but not impossible. After reading this short text, I hope we can gradually recognize that our emotions may sometimes omit parts of the facts related to others. It’s recommended to start by writing down our feelings, accepting and acknowledging the source of emotions, as well as the existence of this grievance. This helps us come back to the present moment, choose the right time, express our feelings calmly, and practice restoring the truth. At the same time, be open to the possibility that others may have different perspectives and make efforts to build understanding and communication bridges. Through peaceful and rational dialogue, we can honestly convey the facts about others, ultimately achieving the goal of problem-solving and improving relationships.