connect shan

For a while, I thought “Embodiment” and “Walk the Talk” meant the same thing. But when I started Aikido, I realized they’re a bit different.

“Walk the Talk” helps me measure if my actions align with who I am. My favorite quote, “Treat others like you wish to be treated,” shows how much I love this kind of walk in life. However, for something I don’t love, such as failing, I truly hate it. Physically, failing is painful, and you never know where else the body will get hurt. Still, to align with my talk about “being brave” and gaining recognition from society, I’ve tried not to let fear stop me, especially when it comes to heights. But even with all my efforts, the fear stuck around. And the body knows.

I started Aikido last summer. Aikido to me is more than just a Japanese martial art or self-defense technique that effectively utilizes joint locks, throws, strikes, and pins to neutralize an attacker. Aikido teaches me to redirect the force of aggression to harmonize with the encounter both physically and mentally.
At the very beginning on the Aikido mat, my teacher taught me the best way to save myself from an “attack” is to fail rather than resist it. Even though I hate it, for the sake of keeping walking the “brave” talk, I had to do it. But the result was, that I failed badly, sometimes really bad. My hip pain is evidence of just being “brave”.

My body reacted every time I tried to fail from each throw (even though all the throws were handled softly) – a very tense back and a tight grip on my partner’s sleeves showed how much I was trying not to fail. But when I throw my opponent to the ground, that moment of speed and power is really satisfying. Isn’t that so similar in our real life? We love being at the advantageous point when someone is willing to follow our lead. But when there is resistance or difference in front, not making mistakes for whatever the intention is will soak us into blame and shame, as soon as we begin to convince each other who is right or who is wrong.

What if failing is all about rising?

For a while, I thought “Embodiment” and “Walk the Talk” meant the same thing. But when I started Aikido, I realized they’re a bit different.

“Walk the Talk” helps me measure if my actions align with who I am. I love the quote, “Treat others like you wish to be treated,” which is my favorite measuring stick for me to live out in real life. However, for something I don’t love, such as failing, I truly hate it. Physically, failing is painful, and you never know where else the body will get hurt. Still, to align with my talk about “being brave” and gaining recognition from society, I’ve tried not to let fear stop me, especially when it comes to heights. But even with all my efforts, the fear stuck around. And the body knows.

I started Aikido last summer. Aikido to me is more than just a Japanese martial art or self-defense technique that effectively utilizes joint locks, throws, strikes, and pins to neutralize an attacker. Aikido teaches me to redirect the force of aggression to harmonize with the encounter both physically and mentally.

At the very beginning on the Aikido mat, my teacher taught me the best way to save myself from an “attack” is to fail rather than resist it. Even though I hate it, for the sake of keeping walking the “brave” talk, I had to do it. But the result was, that I failed badly, sometimes really bad. My hip pain is evidence of just being “brave”.

My body reacted every time I tried to fail from each throw (even though all the throws were handled softly) – a very tense back and a tight grip on my partner’s sleeves showed how much I was trying not to fail. But when I throw my opponent to the ground, that moment of speed and power is really satisfying. Isn’t that so similar in our real life? We love being at the advantageous point when someone is willing to follow our lead. But when there is resistance or difference in front, not making mistakes for whatever the intention is will soak us into blame and shame, as soon as we begin to convince each other who is right or who is wrong.

What if failing is all about rising?

Aikido made me realize that continuously walking with what I hate doesn’t help me gain courage and strength. The stiffness and tight grip aren’t following through on my words for how brave I wish to become. Facing fears is more than just walking the talk. It’s also about considering our whole self – mind, body, and feelings.

Another important element to be brave is finding safety and security from the space when we confront fear. My Aikido teacher, Martin, is different from any serious type of sensei I know from TV, with no facial expressions and holding discipline as the only approach to learning. His teaching involves humor, lightness, and patience to repeat again and again. But when he embodies the essence of Aikido, there is honor, power, and strength.

The dojo has mirrored all that too. Everyone in the class helped me to pause and slow down, to center within, to practice what it takes for me to feel at ease while also learning how to strengthen my body to flow with the laws of nature’s physics and let gravity do the work. I felt fortunate to learn with a group of “seniors” with years of experience but always showed up so humbly. And most importantly, they include me even though I don’t speak their native language.

Through the lens of Aikido, I embodied the understanding of what it takes to be a beginner. Till next time, I hope this sharing reminds you to notice more about your body and how it links with your mind each time you feel something intensive.

#aikido #embodiment #WalkTheTalk